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People with low self esteem whine sulk and act negatively to win support from others it usually backfires and instead invites people to treat them poorly

By Dana Jordan
Published in Psychology
February 02, 2024
2 min read
People with low self esteem whine sulk and act negatively to win support from others it usually backfires and instead invites people to treat them poorly

People with Low Self-Esteem: The Vicious Cycle of Seeking Support

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Low self-esteem can be a real struggle for individuals, often leading to negative behaviors that seek validation and support from others. People with low self-esteem often find themselves whining, sulking, and acting negatively in an attempt to win sympathy and attention. However, this strategy usually backfires, ultimately inviting people to treat them poorly. In this article, we’ll explore why this happens and how individuals can break free from this damaging cycle.

Numerous studies have focused on the relationship between low self-esteem and seeking support from others. One such study conducted by researchers at the University of Michigan found that individuals with low self-esteem tend to engage in self-defeating behaviors to elicit positive responses from those around them. Unfortunately, this pattern often leads to a negative perception by others rather than the desired support.

When people with low self-esteem continuously express their negative emotions, it can become tiresome and draining for those around them. Constant complaints, self-pity, and pessimism not only impact the person seeking support but can also affect the emotional well-being of others. This often results in others distancing themselves or responding negatively, unintentionally reinforcing the negative cycle that the individual is trapped in.

It’s important to note that seeking support is a natural and healthy part of human interaction. However, when this need for support becomes excessive or manipulative, it can have detrimental effects on both personal relationships and one’s emotional well-being. That being said, there are steps individuals with low self-esteem can take to break free from this vicious cycle and establish healthier patterns of seeking support.

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Firstly, individuals must cultivate self-awareness, recognizing the patterns of behavior they tend to exhibit when seeking support. By gaining insight into their actions, individuals can better understand their own emotions, identify triggers, and take proactive steps to manage their self-esteem. This self-reflection process can be greatly assisted by working with a therapist or counselor who specializes in self-esteem and interpersonal relationships.

Secondly, individuals should focus on building a positive support system. Rather than relying solely on others for emotional support, individuals with low self-esteem can engage in activities and hobbies that boost self-confidence and provide a sense of achievement. This proactive approach helps develop self-reliance and reduces the reliance on others for validation.

Additionally, building a network of positive, uplifting individuals who genuinely care can be transformative for those struggling with low self-esteem. Surrounding oneself with people who uplift and support, rather than enable negative behaviors, can break the cycle and foster growth and resilience.

In conclusion, seeking support is a natural human tendency, but when individuals with low self-esteem rely on negative behaviors to secure validation, it often backfires and invites mistreatment from others. Breaking free from this cycle requires self-awareness, proactive self-management, and building a positive support system. By understanding their own emotions and taking steps towards self-improvement, individuals with low self-esteem can regain control over their lives, fostering healthier relationships and a more positive self-image.

Source: [1] (https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0146167218802837)


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Dana Jordan

Dana Jordan

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